We covered in a fairly recent column how unhappy it makes your compiler to hear this word pronounced “SEER-up” rather than “SIR-up,” which is how he learned to say it, and how he will say it till the day he dies. But today, we’re not talking about how to say it, we’re talking about the real thing, as well as some cheap, shoddy imitations thereof. In your compiler’s world, there are four basic kinds of syrup. These are ribbon cane, sorghum cane, maple, and store-bought. Your compiler will address these four types in reverse order. Store-bought syrup may be good for the masses, but to your compiler, it is sickeningly sweet and artificial tasting. To his taste, it’s thin, runny, over-sweet slop, and doesn’t deserve to have an image of Lincoln’s birthplace on its label. For Heaven’s sake, it is imitation maple syrup made with corn, and if your compiler wanted corn syrup, he’d eat Karo, which is a brand sometimes used in cooking. Real maple syrup, when done right, is naturally harvested and is of long provenance in Northern climes. While your compiler likes maple syrup pretty well, he feels about it as he feels about beautiful horizons – horizons without a red clay stripe running along the base of them are somebody else’s horizons, and maple syrup is somebody else’s syrup. Sorghum syrup, while Southern, is thick and pungent, with a “bite,” for lack of a better term. It tends to be popular in the northern regions of Georgia – in fact…
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